Brand Fires on the Fridge; or An Out-West Pin-Up Souvenir

What to do when your long-awaited field trip to the West didn’t produce lanky cowboys dropping into your lap?

Buy one.

Take this tall glass of cool water I found at a Long Beach bookstore.

A twofer special from Monarch, from the collection of es

Monarch Books doesn’t reveal the illustrator of this western by King of Cowboy Lit . . . → Read More: Brand Fires on the Fridge; or An Out-West Pin-Up Souvenir

Western Tweets and Posts; or Revisiting the Wild Western Web

Nothing like a dash of reality, I say, especially if they don’t make me ride a horse.

By “they” I mean the real-life cowboys/girls in the world, who blog about getting hay baled and sucking up mud before breakfast. Those riproaring mofos who tweet about 100-degree heat as they work with cattle or mules or horses and . . . → Read More: Western Tweets and Posts; or Revisiting the Wild Western Web

Go West, Vienna; or, West as State of Mind

Damaso Reyes sent me proof that the West is state of mind–as shown in “das comedy musical” Go West from Wild West Central, Vienna.

copyright 2010 Damaso Reyes

The poster’s got everything: the neon green symmetrical saguaro, the hayseed font, the slavering (geographically wrong) vulture, the cowboy/Indian war (real comedic), the cow or bull chewing on hay. . . . → Read More: Go West, Vienna; or, West as State of Mind

Procrastination; or, High Plains Adventures in Novel-Writing

When I procrastinate in my cliffhanger-filled journey of novel writing (thrills! chills! tears! laughter!) I now know it as a signpost that there is something important I have to tackle and I am resisting it.

(Thanks final girl, for an epically awesome vacation pic!)

The stronger the urge to do something–anything–other . . . → Read More: Procrastination; or, High Plains Adventures in Novel-Writing

A Man’s Gotta Do What a Man’s Gotta Do * ; or A Handy Guide to Life’s Goals

The epically awesome goals of a Silver-Screen Western hero can be distilled down to five emulation-worthy goals, which can be mixed and matched for dramatic effect.

win a love interest
protect society
wreak revenge
get rich
know thyself

*(btw, title from George Jetson of The Jetsons, not John Wayne)

Of these, . . . → Read More: A Man’s Gotta Do What a Man’s Gotta Do * ; or A Handy Guide to Life’s Goals

Will Do; or, the Eighth Principle of the Silver-Screen Western Hero Code

Chapter 8 in Reach for the Skies: The Modern Buckaroo’s Guide to Happiness will explore the eighth principle of the silver-screen western hero code:
DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.

The important parts of this to consider is that “do” is a verb (and an active one at that), and “need” is different than . . . → Read More: Will Do; or, the Eighth Principle of the Silver-Screen Western Hero Code

The Cowpoke’s Life’s for Me; The Brands of Herb Jeffries and Roy Rogers

My lucky horseshoe used to be my sister’s horse’s cast-off shoe, bent and scarred silver with use. Now I use Roy Rogers’s horseshoe. It’s stamped “Lucky Horseshoe,” and with Roy Roger’s name and Trigger’s for good measure. Yes, I am a lucky, lucky bucko.

The singing cowboy is a unique kind of hero in the . . . → Read More: The Cowpoke’s Life’s for Me; The Brands of Herb Jeffries and Roy Rogers

Cowgirls Gone Wild; or, I Can Has Cheezcake?

Western porn.

Linda Stirling as the Black Whip in Zorro’s Black Whip, 1944, from www.wantedcowgirls.com
For me western porn is film stills and posters and book covers of hunks and hunkettes loaded down with western gear like holsters and chaps and cowboy boots and spurs and Colts and maybe a hard-edged stare or two.
And, oh yeah, I was . . . → Read More: Cowgirls Gone Wild; or, I Can Has Cheezcake?

New Year in Cowboylands

Every start of the year I find some time to write out a few goals. I prioritize and create little boxes for checking off when I’ve completed them* and otherwise make curlicues and asterisks and bold underlines. This blog was one such goal from last year (alas, the Web site is still under construction–anyone know a . . . → Read More: New Year in Cowboylands

A Happy Healthy New Year; or, Cowboy Diplomacy in the Doctor’s Office

Medical tools from the Civil War

There is something to be said for a high-deductible health care plan: This year, thanks to a likely financial crunch in my chosen field, I will certainly be reviewing my health expenditures carefully. No more mammograms willy-nilly–squishing boobs for fun has gone the way of tinkering with stocks. No longer will I drop . . . → Read More: A Happy Healthy New Year; or, Cowboy Diplomacy in the Doctor’s Office