Get It On; or, Western Fetishes, from Michael Jackson to Appaloosa

Get it on! Another da bomb of a Wild Western Web find! Michael Jackson as cowboy, circa 1977. *swoon*

Even through the anemic strains of a stoopit disco arrangement, you can discern the moves that made MJ great. Taking on the butch character of a cowboy/gunslinger, Michael Jackson’s dancing transforms classic western movie clichés into fetish objects. Check . . . → Read More: Get It On; or, Western Fetishes, from Michael Jackson to Appaloosa

The Wild Western Web; or, Sauerkraut Cowboys and Le Far West

Some days of Wild Western Web trolling yield zero results. Some yield perfect storms of epic perfection and all kinds of wonderful.

God bless the Cowboy, especially in an Italian theme park.

Cue Sauerkraut Cowboys.

Once I got the memory of the taste of pickled-ish cabbage from my mouth (avoiding sauerkraut most assiduously since I was a . . . → Read More: The Wild Western Web; or, Sauerkraut Cowboys and Le Far West

The Curse of the Return of; or, One More of the Worst Silver-Screen Animal Hero Westerns

The deadline hit my shoulder with the force of a bullet and the reins of the stagecoach dropped from my nerveless hands. The coach careened across the dusty road as its six horses, freed from my steady presence on the reins, bolted. The passengers–my beloved characters–shrieking, I tried in vain to pull the brake but nearly . . . → Read More: The Curse of the Return of; or, One More of the Worst Silver-Screen Animal Hero Westerns

The Girls of Westerns, Part 2; or, Catherine Allen of Will Penny

No heaving bosoms. No limpid eyes filling with tears. No female stumbling after the hero in stupid high-heeled shoes. Ahhhh. Finally. A western heroine who isn’t a wilting schoolmarm or tart with heart of gold, or who doesn’t try to outshoot, outdrink, outswear, or outanything the hero. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

. . . → Read More: The Girls of Westerns, Part 2; or, Catherine Allen of Will Penny

National Punctuation Day; or Gratuitous Steve McQueen Pic

In honor of National Punctuation Day, a day revered by comma geeks everywhere, I hereby give formal thanks herewith, in perpetuity, without exception, to the heretofore unjustly ignored stylistic convention, long forgotten and usually misunderstood, and not to be confused by the subtitle, which in itself is of great worthiness to nonfiction writers, as it allows, . . . → Read More: National Punctuation Day; or Gratuitous Steve McQueen Pic

Yu So-chow Rocks; or, A Silver-Screen Western/Eastern Heroine

Silver-screen western heroines have it tough.

They’re not as pioneer-hard as actual historical Western women, and they have the added burden of the madonna/whore paradox, eternally scripted as being either the sweet Clementines or the volatile Chihuahuas of the Silver-Screen West.

Henry Fonda and Cathy Downs (Clementine)

Victor Mature, Linda Darnell (Chihuahua), and another goddamn fake saguaro

(Not . . . → Read More: Yu So-chow Rocks; or, A Silver-Screen Western/Eastern Heroine

Bark! Bark!; or, Two of the Worst Silver-Screen Western Animal Heroes

Bucko here! Raging floods! Avalanche! And revisions! I’m teetering on a precipice of novel decisions (one false move and I’ll fall into the Maelstrom of Indecisive Despair…)

Yikes!

…when to my rescue comes

BARK! BARK! BARKITY BARK BARK!

That’s right, Lassie! Saved! Guest blogger Flapjack42 is back with the  Top 10 Worst Animal as Silver-Screen Western Hero movies . . . → Read More: Bark! Bark!; or, Two of the Worst Silver-Screen Western Animal Heroes

Western Tweets and Posts; or Revisiting the Wild Western Web

Nothing like a dash of reality, I say, especially if they don’t make me ride a horse.

By “they” I mean the real-life cowboys/girls in the world, who blog about getting hay baled and sucking up mud before breakfast. Those riproaring mofos who tweet about 100-degree heat as they work with cattle or mules or horses and . . . → Read More: Western Tweets and Posts; or Revisiting the Wild Western Web

Go West, Vienna; or, West as State of Mind

Damaso Reyes sent me proof that the West is state of mind–as shown in “das comedy musical” Go West from Wild West Central, Vienna.

copyright 2010 Damaso Reyes

The poster’s got everything: the neon green symmetrical saguaro, the hayseed font, the slavering (geographically wrong) vulture, the cowboy/Indian war (real comedic), the cow or bull chewing on hay. . . . → Read More: Go West, Vienna; or, West as State of Mind

The Anthony Mann/James Stewart Ring Cycle; or, Silver-Screen Hero as Everyman

“The heroes in modern action movies seem to spend the whole films WINNING.”

Lordy, how I wish I had come up with that zinger, by blogger dcairns of Shadowplay, because it explains a lot.

These days if you don’t get insta-happiness in the time it takes to make instant coffee (for those who do), Tang breakfast drink (to . . . → Read More: The Anthony Mann/James Stewart Ring Cycle; or, Silver-Screen Hero as Everyman