Which Western Hero Are You?; or, Part II, the Quiz

Answer the following questions, keeping track of your answers. Here you can see how your answers match up with three silver-screen western-hero archetypes, which are then described and accompanied by examples worthy of emulation and their quintessential films. Study these films. Watch them constantly, even when you are brushing your teeth in the morning. Watch them until you’ve soaked in every word and gesture of these great men and women. Watch them until you believe you can be as awesomely epic as a silver-screen western hero.

1. Think of this as the opening shot of your personal western life, right before the title of your life blazes across the screen. The music begins. How would you describe your personal soundtrack?

  • a. Something that expresses what I’m experiencing deep inside but can’t find the words to say.
  • b. Something upbeat, that has a catchy hook that won’t let go.
  • c. Something avant-garde, indie, even haunting.

2. Think of this one as your closeup. You’re out on the town and you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror. Freeze that frame! You see:

  • a. What you always see. Not bad. Not great, but not bad either.
  • b. Perfection! You’re rocking a stylish look.
  • c. A personal statement. What you wear says who you are.

3. Time to interact with the characters of your movie. Someone asks politely where you’re from. How would you best describe your reaction?

  • a. You state the truth: There’s only one place for you. It could be where you were born, or it could be your adopted hometown.
  • b. You’ve called a lot of places home, so you shrug and say, “Here and there.”
  • c. You give that person a hard stare and say under your breath (or not), “None of your business.”

4. Let’s try an establishing shot, a scene that sets up your relationship with your environment. You enter a restaurant, bar, or saloon. Where do you sit?

  • a. Wherever there’s a seat.
  • b. Right in the middle of the action. And close to the stage—if they have an open mic night, you’re in!
  • c. Somewhere where you can see everything and keep tabs on things. And not with your back to door.

5. Love interest time! You meet the guy or gal of your dreams. You:

  • a. Inwardly vow to become worthy of him or her, whatever it takes.
  • b. Start shopping for a ring.
  • c. Do the equivalent of finding a convenient hayloft, making whoopee, and riding off into the sunset real fast.

6. Another establishing shot. What best describes you on an unexpected night off?

  • a. Catching up on all those bills that need paid, and then there are those phone calls you’ve been meaning to make, and then the fridge needs cleaned…
  • b. Whooping it up with friends.
  • c. Having some quiet time, with or without a stiff drink.

7. Conflict time! You suffer a crushing financial blow—debt collection, foreclosure, loss of grubstake. You:

  • a. Talk about it as little as possible and get another job.
  • b. Take care of it and/or move on—there’s always something else out there.
  • c. Swear vengeance—or at least a comeback, even bigger and better than before.

8. A conflict resolution is in order! Whatever problem your family or community has been having, you’ve just saved the day! “How did you do it?” someone asks.

  • a. You did what anyone would do to help a friend in need. Nothing special.
  • b. You rounded up all your pals to come up with the perfect solution—a party, an auction, passing the hat, a group sing around the campfire…
  • c. You answer, “You don’t want to know.” (And maybe drown all memories in a stiff drink.)

9. Showdown! Your nemesis stands before you, swearing to take you down. What is your reaction?

  • a. You say what needs to be said. No histrionics. No meltdowns. No passive-aggressive strategies. Just you and your nemesis, and may the best man win.
  • b. There’s always a way to work things out, so before you go for your guns, you offer a few suggestions.
  • c. You mutter, “Bring it on.” You’re afraid of no one.

10. The End! What will people say at your funeral?

  • a. There was never a truer, more dependable friend than you.
  • b. You made everyone around you feel like they mattered.
  • c. You were hard to get to know, but once you called someone a friend, it was for life.

Tomorrow–the results!

And now a word from our sponsors…

6 comments to Which Western Hero Are You?; or, Part II, the Quiz

  • co

    I thought all the answers were the right ones. this is why I’m a failure.

  • bucko

    HI AG! You sir, are a gunslinger–although you could be a knight in shining armor kind, like Shane rather than Eastwood’s Man with No Name. Check out the answers here:


  • bucko

    No way a failure! All the answers are right, aren’t they? Jim thought it best to have a smattering of three types, and most people are split between two. (But he wishes he were a singing cowboy.) I actually hate quizzes but still wait breathlessly for the results.

  • Allegheny Jeff

    Well, fancy that, I’m 40% A, 20% B, and 40% C. Must admit, I’m not serprised. Ketch me in one mood, and I want to drank with ya till our eyelids can’t stay up no more. Ketch me in another mood, and shoot, I’m jes doing my job. Ketch me in yet another mood an’ you’ll wonder why the lonesome guy in the corner seems to like it so dark. Fer yer own good, jes don’t say it loud.

  • bucko

    Well, well, Allegheny Jeff. Looks like you’ve been pegged for the lovable rascal you are!

Leave a Reply




You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>